I went to see Blake today as I normally do and again, I was told that he's still holding strong and maintaining his progress. Ever since he's been born I've been asking when I would be able to hold him and start kangaroo care. And each time I asked the doctor, I was told "soon". The last few days I've had several nurses ask me if I've held him yet and look surprised when I say 'no, not yet'. Monday when I spoke to one of the doctors, he told me I would probably have to wait a few weeks. Obviously I was disappointed but I also know that I don't want to push it until I know Blake is ready and stable enough to.
Well, I was asked by the nurse practioner if I had held him yet. And yet again, she looked shocked and confused about why I hadn't been able to yet. Blake's bedside nurse came in and they got together and discussed a few things and came back with the conclusion that I would be able to start kangaroo care today if I wanted to. I've been waiting to hold my child since the moment I found out I was pregnant so it was a no brainer.
My friend Tracy was with me today and she was able to video tape the nurses handing me my little one. It was definitely a tedious task of trying to get him from his bed to my arms without tangling all his tubes and wires but we managed. For kangaroo care you need to have skin to skin contact. The nurses brought me a hospital gown so that I could have him lie directly on my chest. Once he was comfortablely laying resting on my chest the nurses left us alone and I was able to finally relax and just enjoy this milestone with my precious little one.
I was told that daily kangaroo care is very beneficial for both baby and mother. Skin to skin helps the baby regulate his breathing and his temperature. This is very important for Blake right now since he is off of the ventilator and is controlling his own breathing rhythm. It also helps him fall into a deeper sleep. And everyone knows that when you are sick that lots of rest can help you feel better. Well, the same goes for preemies. Skin to skin also helps relax him since he can hear my heart beat and feel my touch. It's the closest he can get to being back in the womb where he should be at this early in gestation. And its good for me because just the sight, feel and touch of him helps my milk production. And of course its good for me mentally and emotionally because I feel like I can finally bond with him.
I feel incredibly blessed.
Holding Blake and having him all snuggled up close to me was what I needed. I literally felt the stress and worry melt away. Nothing could take away from that moment and I feel so thankful that I was allowed to have this opportunity. I kept thanking the nurses over and over after my hour and a half cuddle session because without them, I wouldn't have been able to hold my son. And the greatest part about the whole thing is that I can do it everyday from now on (as long as Blake is okay and can tolerate it).
I want to thank everyone again for all the support and prayers. I truly believe that God is listening to every prayer said for Blake. I do believe in miracles and my little baby is definitely a miracle himself.