Sept. 3rd, 2012

Blake is back on the ventilator. He was having a hard time keeping up breathing on his own. The nurse practitioner used the analogy of someone running in a marathon. Those who aren't conditioned for it can start off doing really well but will eventually tire out and slow down. That's how blake is. He started off really well but his lungs just aren't developed to where he needs to be in order to do it on his own. Blake is physically exhausted from trying. He is actually very content on the ventilator and is currently knocked out and sleeping. Poor guy. At least the ventilator gives him a break.

The scary thing we knew we'd have to face eventually is the aftermath of the Penrose drain. They think that a fistula was made by the drain. A fistula, in this case, is a pathway from the outer skin to the bowel that  was caused by the drain. So even the though the drain was removed, he is still getting drainage through the hole in his abdomen. The surgeon wants to go ahead and schedule Blake for surgery on Wednesday. He wants to go in and close up the fistula but while he's in there he wants to go ahead do one of two things depending on what he finds. Opition #1, if he's able to, he wants to go ahead and just stitch up the tear in his bowel. However, this all depends on what the bowel looks like. If it isn't in good condition, he may have to do option #2 which would be to pull both ends of the damaged intestines out and have them in a bag on his belly. His bowel movements would then have to be emptied from the bag until he was big enough (at least 2000 grams) to have them stitched up and placed back inside of his belly.

Patrick and I are going up to the hospital tomorrow morning to discuss the surgery further with the surgeon, but it does look like we are looking to have the procedure.done Wednesday.

Surgery in general scares me. I was a nervous wreck about having to get a c section which is such a basic and common procedure. And now I'm sitting here scared death for my little baby to have his surgery. I know its necessary but it still makes me feel awful. I wish he didn't have to go through all this. I know that its been nearly 3 weeks since I had my c section and I'm still sore and stiff in the mornings. I can't imagine how my Blake will feel while he's recovering. I can only pray that he recovers quickly so that we can get passed this rough patch. I know I'll be an emotional wreck while he's in surgery.

Hopefully after this surgery we will be done with this traumatic and stressful issue. Besides the perf in his belly, Blake is still hanging strong! Hopefully this will be the last scary low on our NICU roller coaster. We are praying that the rest of his stay in the hospital consists of him just growing and developing so that he can come home with his family where he belongs.